Don't Think
by Tryaurus
Summary: "Don't think. Don't bloody think because when you think you realise how messed up everything is. You realise you don't know how you got to where you are, you don't know where you're going and you don't know what to do anymore." Written with a journal entry. Rated T for language and dark themes. Companion story to OHH:KS but the journal entry can be read separately.


**A/N: Hello! This is a one-shot on Ashlyn's thoughts and view on the world. It's unpleasant and I would advise not to read if this kind of stuff makes you uneasy. You don't have to read my story to be able to understand this. These were just thoughts that were spinning around in my head and I made the mistake of dwelling on them. I just had to write it down and then I decided to link my thoughts to a story and ta-da! Enjoy!**

 **Don't Think**

Delia Rose Ketchum ran her fingers along the spine of her daughter's journal. Ashlyn was leaving on her journey next week and was out at the reserve with Mithras and Shadow for the night. Delia had found the journal in her daughter's precious items collection and was now deciding whether or not to read it. Invading ones privacy was disgraceful and rude but this was her daughter! They shared everything with each other so why had Ash kept this from her? Carefully, Delia opened the old brown leather journal and began to carefully flick through. There were numerous horrifying entries about what had happened during her time with them so Delia skimmed over them until she came to one a few months after her release. The pages while old had several tear droplet markings on them, compelling the woman to read them. The negative aura radiating from the entry was enough to seal her decision.

 **September 31 2007**

 **Dear Me,**

 **Don't think. Don't fucking think. Block them all out. They only mean you harm. No one cares. If they cared you wouldn't be like this; broken, used, alone and forgotten. Some forgot about you, some manipulated you for their own twisted purposes and threw you away after you'd fulfilled your uses, like a broken toy and some abandoned you like you weren't worth a second of their time. They tore you down from your happy place where you were cherished, nurtured and loved. Now look at you! What a fool you were to believe it that blissful illusion. It's laughable how stupid you were.**

 **When you think you realise how fucked up everything really is. Mom works her ass off for hours to pay off bills and line the pockets of the government and gets less than she should. It's corrupt, it all is. If it wasn't so corrupt, the bastard that tortured you would be behind bars but no! You were only a little kid, what use was your life to the league? They didn't care, none of them did! Hell they only people that saved you were your mother who was fired for taking the day off to rescue her precious daughter and the professor who got into trouble with the league for rescuing you! They don't care none of them do! You're just a tool, something to be used to help them achieve their goals. Their greedy, selfish and cruel. Ha! They deserve worse then what you suffered for their crimes. Face it, you're a victim of authority.**

 **You realise now don't you? You realise now you don't know where you are. Where are you? At home? Bull. Home is a safe haven, this isn't home. Get it through your head. You won't belong here, you never did. You don't know where you're going, do you? Where are you going Ashlyn? What's your future? Do you even have one? What kind of future would a kid with PTSD, a 'delicate' mental state and a criminal track record have? Maybe a lifelong stay in an asylum or prison? That's as good as it's gonna get.**

 **Don't think Ashlyn, just don't think. Stop thinking Ashlyn. Why are you thinking Ashlyn? How did you get to where you are now Ashlyn? How? What are you going to do Ashlyn, what are you going to do?**

 **Why did you start thinking?**

 **Sincerely Me**

Delia dropped to the ground, tears cascading out of her eyes in an endless river. Oh Arceus, why! Why! What did her daughter do to deserve this suffering? Delia now knew why Ash hadn't told her about this. These were her daughter's demons, the negative thoughts and views that whispered hauntingly in her ears or plagued her dreams.

High above in the midnight sky, the moon shone with an evil gleam. The ominous black clouds rolled in as the shadows darted about wickedly. _"Don't think,"_ they hissed menacingly. _"Just don't think."_

 **A/N: Like? Hate? Leave your thoughts in a review and have a nice day!**


End file.
